Mayonnaise Run Gone Bad

Well I should have wrote this before my last wild weekend but I didnt so..Well it was about 3 weeks before Thanksgiving and I had bought a ham.I had it in my fridge for a while and was waiting for the time to get right before I cooked it..Was a nice evening 1 day so I fired up the grill.I had started it with charcoal but that was just to get the wood going..I was staedily feeding it with Pecan limbs I had been soaking weeks prior to that.Soaking makes the wood burn slower and smoke more..I had put the ham on and was smoking up the neighborhood..I was staedily feeding it throghout the evening with pecan.About 5 hrs later I took it off,man was it smelling right..Took a taste and it just watered my mouth..So I sliced up the ham and got out the bread and was ready to make me a sandwich I thought..I got to looking and guess what,out of mayonnaise..I know eat it anyways right,not me..I have to have mayonnaise,just not a sandwhich with out it..No problem,I will just drive one block over to a friend of mine and borrow some...I pulled up and there where a few people there,some I knew,some I didnt,No matter I will be in and out,so I thought..Now all of a sudden everyone went to telling me a girl was there with her kid,she left and left her kid there to meet the her ex boyfriend who just got out of the pen and to find out she was the one who put him there to start with..Well good thing I left my beer in the truck..Well I went in,still on my mission,not wanting in all this,grabbed the mayo and headed out the door..Before I get to my truck,a mustang pulls behind me and a girl bails out crying wanting her kid..I could see that this girl wasnt in shape to get her kid so I intervined and told her no..Everyone was gathered around watching me,not wanting in this but the little girl didnt need in it either.Well me and a friend was trying to calm her down,guy jumps out of car..Come around like he is on the phone gonna call the police,I called his bluff..Ipulled out my phone and said let do it for you..Dude bailed for his car and girl did to..He cranked it up telling her to get in,she opens the door trying to get her purse out of the back..Hes hollering,she scrambling and he put it in reverse and BOOM hits her with the door..Now she is the ground stalling in rev..Im trying to pull her away from the door and he hit drive just peeling out..Well when he does he runs over her foot,cause she was not cooperateing being drug back..He runs threw the neighbors yard and jumps a ditch..K here I am,girl lying on the ground with a broke foot,tire marks going through the neighbors yard and my mayonnaise sitting on the hood of my truck..Well then the police got called for real..I told them look I didnt and dont want in this,to take the girl comfort her and I will see yall at a later date..Well i left,got home made me a sandwhich and waited 2 days before I took the moyo back..Now look I dont know what I have done in my life to deserve all this but man why so dang dramatic..Cant we just live normal lives..My life is pretty simple,guess im just always at the right place at the wrong time....